I have 6. I got four in one year. 2 in one month.
I have always wanted a lot of tattoos, I truly love the idea of putting an ink into your skin , a picture a message and a feeling wrapped and laced in your skin forever. That’s just how I see it. Now, I know that people generally have different association with tattoos, some people hate them and others, like myself love them. But is seems that at some point in time people were very concerned about the job market. Visible tattoos used to be a death sentence and now I think we are ways away from that but people’s mindsets are still the same. In that they think you won’t get a job or you can’t look elegant in a dress.
In all of my tattoos I only have one that is constantly visible and that because it is on my wrist. I got half of an mandala to symbolize and mark my 20th year of life, a new decade and renewal. All the rest of them can be concealed some easier than others depending on the season. I put them in these places because there was pressure on me to do so, it made it very difficult to not get them in places that wouldn’t be seen. But isn’t that what tattoos are meant for. At least that’s what I think they are meant to be seen because it is someones art work and because by having them I demand them, at least some to be seen.
I faced a lot a flack (from family) for how often I was getting tattoos but like my hair, I think they mark a time and I think it is absurd to expect that something will have the same meaning to me now in 20-30 and I think that is kinda the point. Again, markers, reminders that’s how I view tattoos.
The other side of that is I almost always get a tattoo when I feel like I am in a bad place, when my depression and PTSD are taking over and I feel like I have little to no control, I like to get tattoo. It keeps me from doing other things and helps me feel. In that moment of getting a tattoo, I feel like I go somewhwere else in my mind, it’s a state where I am in between. In moments of tattooing I have conversations with people, I picture my future, my dreams and just about anything else that comes to mind. I feel grounded and connected and wind up walking out with a wonderful piece of art that is reflective of some sort of beauty.
In the recent months, I have learned how important mental health is, without it a job, schoold even friendships dont function properly. So if it means that I need to get tattoos on top of tattoos to stay sane, that I think that as a small side effect to a much larger solution . Also, if there is a job that doesn’t want to hire me with my tattoos, than thats not a job for me. Don’t get me wrong, Iunderstand that concempt of a time and a place but I want to never feel like I’m compromising myself, not after how hard I’ve worked to BE myself.
Though I understand that everyone doesnt’ have the same view or connection to tattoos, I thought it would be interesting to share yet another way as to how I mark time and my thoughts, but also how I keep myself in check and remind myself that beauty is literally in me, laced and wrapped within me. And that beauty is victorious over any bad feelings, thoughts or anxieites I could ever have.
Loving and rising,