Orlando.

So, I am sure we all heard the news of the Orlando Massacre. It took me by surprise and then it didn’t. Our country tis of thee, filled with  hate because of thee has proven countless times how much fear, hate and jealously can truly effect the world we live in.

In the past week or so since the massacre there have been a plenty of opinions shared via the internets and all of our socials. It is hard sometimes to understand the perspectives that everyone is coming from and sometimes, things are just straight up wrong. Though, I am not here to bash anyone… I am just trying to be honest and I hope that is something you value about me.

It has taken me such a long time to respond to this simply because I have to grieve and try to pull every strand of disappointment and fear from my body, once I felt like I was standing in enough strength from reading other posts I posted this to my Facebook,

“as a triple minority my identity is always on the chopping block, whether it be my queerness, blackness or womynhood i am constantly reminded of the length ignorant people will take to violate, silence or even kill me. 

during this time though, i will grieve and meditate for the families and friends who lost people this weekend. finding a space to belong is so very hard when you fear the world outside and you are back handily accepted at home. 

a queer space, a queer space of color is needed and even in solidarity and numbers we are not safe. 

i would like to remind many that even when a law is changed, even if it was (insert number of years here) it doesn’t mean that mindsets and attitudes have changed. this is something that shouldn’t be a surprise. 

in 2016 alone, in this week alone i have learned that i could die for my skin color, i could die because i hold another womyns hand and i could die because i identify as one. 

i was also reminded this week like I was last week and the week before how much fear is embedded in our communities, how we joke and make hints but never talk about the entirety  of the issue for everything that it is and everything that it is not. 

DO NOT minimize the issue. 

i was called by a family member and was told not to walk in a parade because i don’t need to prove i am a person. 

i haven’t formally come out, only to the people who i thought needed to know. in light of this situation however, it seems like a “luxury” i no longer want because i am not safe anywhere.

may the sun rays find you all. 

take care of yourselves. 

#loveislove #weheartorlando #staysafe”

In hearing about Orlando I quickly realized that, it was yet another thing that someone somewhere though it was okay to take a life, multiple lives. In my opinion there are very few things that could be bad enough that would justify taking a life and even then it would have to be the most extreme option.

I used to think that to kill someone who’ll take an abundance of strength, a twisted and sick strength but nonetheless it had to be something. However when facing the ease of being able to get an automatic weapon, a weapon that shouldn’t be available to the every day civilian. It makes me rethink. and the first thing that comes to mind is coward.

We are a country filled with cowards, who would rather take lives of all kinds of minorities than to acknowledge a person. A person, not a label, who they sleep with or skin color. But, a person in their personhood, styled with human-ness.

There are little to no words for this and I will meditate that prehaps this will be the last time. But knowing the pattern of our country tis of thee, filled with hate because of thee, that is simply not guaranteed.

Please make sure to take care of yourself in the face of trauma.

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Loving and forever rising,

Asa