year ending

as the year comes to an end we are all pushed the reflect, set goals, and all of the other things, this year i really want to ground myself in gratitude.

in many ways i have received a lot of the things i have asked for, even documented here on this blog. i have been blessed with some of the fruits of my labor, some of the results of self-reflection and deep-seated change. it has pushed me to do something that now, maybe feels impossible, and that is to dream bigger.

let me explain, i have spent all of 2021 facing some deep truths about myself and my previous selves, who i was, and why i wanted to become who i am. i have had to cut people off, really stand up for myself, stand firm who i feel i am in this moment, this phase, the version. i also have reached new levels of intimacy in my friendships (asking for help is still on the list of things i am working on, again lots of taurus placements here), but i haven’t ever considered what would happen when ive reached what once felt impossible. do i dream up around round of “impossible” that simply whisper to me, i’m possible?

so this year instead of entering with a strict list of goals, i decided to intentionally enter with questions. to give myself the room to answer and to follow in the footsteps of Zora Neal Hurston, allowing this year to be a year of questions. this time next year my life and my consciousness will be so different, i want to give myself the grace to meet me again.

i have been reading lots of parenting things and a lot of them name the grieving of your past selves, the grieving of your past life, i like to meet with that with the idea that i was going to be different anyway, as a parent or not, simply because where i am in life would ask me to be different, it would ask me to show up for this new phase, and most importantly i would have been prepared to do so. not in the traditional sense but in that i have and will always like you to be changing, id like to embrace that more.

so again the questions, i have created a little series of journal questions that have come from my internal dialogue, i hope they lead to more answers maybe, but to stay on theme i hope they bring me more curiosity of myself.

more time to sit what how i’ve changed and who ill change to be.

i hope my baby sees me in 7 versions, only getting better with time.

i hope you see 7 versions of yourself, only getting better with time

i grant you all happiness, warmth, and abundance in this new season of yours, and hey,

it’s nice to meet you.

loving always,

asa